Just a little quip while I finish my latest installment for “Real Security Threats”. Please comment and tell me who you want to see play the Super Bowl next time.
Well I missed it. I wanted to see The Black Eyed Peas (BEP) during the half-time show, but I didn’t know when it was on. I hear they played “I got a feeling” with Will.I.Am cheering “get up off the couch!” to the throngs of football watchers. Hey, at least Lady Gaga has lyrics that make you go, “What?!” now and again. The BEP have some of the stupidest lyrics in music history, exemplified by another of the night’s selections, “Boom Boom Pow”.
With “Pump it” the BEP didn’t even bother creating their own musical back track for their inane lyrics, while pimping and primpin’, they stole the whole track from Dick Dale, king of surf rock.
Then they went into their best known, the best of the bunch, “Let’s get it Started”. Yes, and they had their guest stars too.
I do think the BEP were a good choice for Middle America, but there were bands I would rather see.
I would like to hear Trent Reznor of NIN singing, “I want to (love) you like an animal” for one. No one would remember the costume malfunction after that.
I would also like to hear Pearl Jam sing “Better Man” right before a PSA about battered women.
Hearing Devo sing “Jerking Back and Forth”, “Praying Hands” or the sarcastic “Beautiful World” , featuring the original video for the song, would be a change from the über patriotism of this football Sunday.
Rage Against the Machine with Zack de la Rocha screaming, “ef you; I won’t do what ya tell me” would be a nice change to this massive celebration of mass conformity.
And on the day when Reagan was celebrated for being a good president in all the rewritten text books, it would have been nice to see a reunited Dead Kennedys (another overrated mythological president, but nothing like Reagan), sing, “We’ve got a Bigger Problem Now”,
“We’ve Got A Bigger Problem Now”
Last call for alcohol. Last call for your freedom of speech. Drink up. Happy hour is now enforced by law. Don’t forget our house special, it’s called a Trickie Dickie Screwdriver. It’s got one part Jack Daniels, two parts purple Kool-Aid, and a jigger of formaldehyde from the jar with Hitler’s brain in it we got in the back storeroom. Happy trails to you. Happy trails to you. I am Emperor Ronald Reagan Born again with fascist cravings Still, you made me president Human rights will soon go ‘way I am now your Shah today Now I command all of you Now you’re going to pray in school I’ll make sure they’re Christian too California Uber alles Uber alles California Ku Klux Klan will control you Still you think it’s natural Nigger knockin’ for the master race Still you wear the happy face You closed your eyes, can’t happen here Alexander Haig is near Vietnam won’t come back you say Join the army or you will pay California Uber alles Uber alles California Yeah, that’s it. Just relax. Have another drink, few more pretzels, little more MSG. Turn on those Dallas Cowboys on your TV. Lock your doors. Close your mind. It’s time for the two-minute warning. Welcome to 1984 Are you ready for the third world war?!? You too will meet the secret police They’ll draft you and they’ll jail your niece You’ll go quitely to boot camp They’ll shoot you dead, make you a man Don’t you worry, it’s for a cause Feeding global corporations’ claws Die on our brand new poison gas El Salvador or Afghanistan Making money for President Reagan And all the friends of President Reagan California Uber alles Uber alles California
Thank you Jello! If you ever play the Super Nowl, I want a ticket.
There could be so many other better choices, perhaps Steven Colbert?, but at least the Black Eyed Peas are musically relevant to this century.
Now it’s your turn. Who do you want to see at play the next Super Bowl?