A Summary of the State of the Union Address

In Current Events, Humor on January 25, 2011 at 23:20

No need to see the address. Really, aren’t these always pandering, no matter who is president? Here’s a summary for you:

Obama’s coming State of the Union Address, or SOTU (with his running thoughts in parenthesis):


My Fellow Americans (shut up you eff’ed up birthers):

God reference stating Obama’s and America’s reverence for the mythical man in the sky. Blah blah blah we face challenges. Blah, blah, the end of the recession is near though we still face challenges.

Blah blah blah we must come together Democrats, Republicans, blahs and blahs and blahs and blahs and work for the common good blah blah blah.

We will freeze spending because blah blah blah and encourage job growth through incentives to business blah blah blah pander pander pander (I’m in as pres in 2012!)

Security, troops doing good job, security.

Economy turning around blah blah empty metaphor featuring ship and slow steering, (I hope they believe this load) spiritual reference that makes one think of MLK (god forbid not Malcolm X)

Reference to “those of us in our hearts still struggling for life” (Giffords) and those everywhere making America a safer place whether in foreign land 1, or 2, or 3, or 4 (see, I support the troops everyone, see?)

It is a new day in America paraphrase of Reagan to please the 18 Republican votes he got in 2008 (I hope the Republicans like me more now!)

We have accomplished much, but more work must be done. Another ass-kissing statement about bipartisanship for the Republicans.

We can’t be free until all citizens of the world are free oblique reference to Tunisia (I hope Americans don’t know we support the Egyptian dictatorship with a $ billion each year) and we will be the shining light for freedom for people around the globe.

Rah rah cheerleading patriotic god filled closing.

(Exit stage right)

Tex Shelters

  1. ~ rising from my seat. applauding madly. waving small paper flag in between claps. Wiping away tears in between claps and waving small paper flags. ~

    God is good.

  2. When did U.S. citizens become such a cheap date?

    Up Next: The Republican in Democrat clothing comes after your Social Security while deftly blaming it on Republicans.

    • LS,

      And people so quickly forget that Obama said a lot of things when he was running for office, and he has largely ignore much of it. Why do they believe what he says now?

      I really think the Dems and the US would be better off if we were fighting McCain instead of capitulating to Obama. I am glad at least a few people, like you, understand where I am coming from and don’t have to knee-jerk defend Obama just because he’s a Democrat. I will review his speech and update this.

      I hope you are well.

      Tex Shelters

  3. Frankly, I’m depressed. Reading what he said–and did not say–I think he gave one heckuva Republican neofeudalist speech and yet “liberals” are cheering and Republicans are “booing”–all on cue.

    Look forward to seeing your take.

    • Reading it now LS. First thought: the word “future” was used 15 times.

      It’s pretty much a document of denial.

      Tex Shelters

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