Facing the worst drought of ideas in eighty years, and exacerbated by the Bush presidency, our nation’s capital has filed for emergency relief funds. “We once used to export ideas, with Jefferson, Thomas Paine, Eleanor Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Duke Ellington, Dave Chappelle. Now our concept economy has dried up,” said Deputy Vice Mayor of District Parks, Giuliana Scherzo. “We might have to ask Europe for help with our idea deficit. Perhaps they could send Lars Von Trier or Werner Herzog to help out. In the past, we could ask Hollywood or Mowtown for a fresh thought or two, but have you seen the latest movies and heard the latest records?”
“Who knows when and where the next ideas will come,” said long time D.C. resident Emiliano Cassius Bolivar, Jr, owner of an acting studio for Congressional members. “We thought that Obama and his team would help address the conceptual deficit in our nation’s capital, but it just hasn’t happened.”
And since the new Republican dominated House has taken over, the reserve supply of ideas has run dry.
It also didn’t help that Michelle Rhee was D.C. schools chancellor from 2007 to 2010 trotting out her tried and failed concept of high stakes testings.
Representative Peter King suggested that if D.C. used FEMA funds, that it would have to be paid for by budget cuts, but perhaps D.C. residents could work as maids and butlers to reconcile the budget.
With the retirement of Bill Gates and now Steve Jobs, no relief is in sight for this crisis.