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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Republicans are Losing Their Best and Their Brightest by Tex Shelters

In Current Events, Humor on May 17, 2011 at 23:47

Huckabee and Nugent Wango Tango from http://thedailydeets.com/archives/47449

Republicans are losing their best people in droves as we head toward the 2012 presidential race faster than a Sarah Palin tweet become irrelevant. And I am not talking about women, Latinos and Blacks.  Those minorities will never be American enough to be true Republicans. And remember I said, “The Best and Brightest.”

No, I am talking about Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump who have decided to put their own financial interest above America. I salute their decisions, but it is a loss to the Republican cause. Who now with step forward with the twin flags of evangelicalism and hypocritical free market, anti-government talking points. Who will stand against the facts about Obama’s birth certificate in a time of crisis in America? Who will fight for the facts of creationism, the facts that make this nation great, over the liberal dogma of science in the classroom?

Donald Trump is a stunning loss. Who thought that The Donald would drop out when he still had work to do fabricating issues from the flotsam of previous failed billionaire bids for the White House?  In his concession speech, he said that, “”Business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.””  He also made the unfalsifiable claim that he could win the Republican primary and the White House, if he wanted to.

Trump could see that all the attention he was getting for making up factoids was damaging his clean cut image as a paragon of virtue, so he had to drop out.

Other reasons Trump dropped out include:

His hair has a higher Q rating.

His slogan “You’re fired” didn’t test well.

Oprah wouldn’t interview him on her show.

America’s sweetheart Rachel Maddow didn’t give him enough attention.

Donors were afraid that giving money to him was a big gamble.

Trump has spent less than fourteen years in the United States having spent the rest on Mars.

Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin know more about American history and the Constitution than him.

Not to be outdone, former Arkansas Governor and current Baptist Minister and radio show host Mike Huckabee also says he could have won the nomination. However, God told him not to run. As Huckabee pointed out, “All the factors say go, but my heart says no”, and “Being president is a job that takes one to the limit of his or her human capacity. For me, to do it apart from the inner confidence that I was undertaking it without God’s full blessing is simply unthinkable.” (link) 

So, just like Trump relied on his own God, Trump, to make the decision for him, Huckabee relied on his God for he can’t think with the assist form Yahweh.

Other than his calling from God to continue making money from his television show and thus not run for President, Huckabee’s reasons for not running for President include:

The possibility that Huckabee could tour with Ted Nugent on his evangelical “Pussys Purring for God” tour.

Huckabee wants to spend more time reinventing history with sound bites for kids. http://learnourhistory.com/ on Youtube
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0511/54794.html

He wants to spend more time idolizing Reagan.

Huckabee wants to spend more time exploring same sex marriage and how it will ruin America.

Huckabee dropped out because they refused to change the title of President to “Baptist in Chief”.

He is organizing “month of prayer” events to pray for an end to abortions.

Other notables who have dropped out of the race before starting include Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, South Dakota Sen. John Thune and Indiana Rep. Mike Pence.

Barbour dropped out because Mississippi wouldn’t support a commemorative license plate to Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, Confederate General and early KKK Grand Wizard. How dare the racist left prevent the commemoration of a Grand Wizard. I would drop out too.

John Thune will be dedicating himself to learning English, which he hopes one day will become the official language of the United States.

Mike Pence is going to stay in Indiana and run for Governor where he can easily refuse federal funds and not burden taxpayers using Air Force 1 like Comrade Obama does. (link)

I don’t know what we are going to do without these paragons of Americanism. All we can do is hope that Bachmann and Palin jump into the race. Really, how excited can anyone get over writing Mitt Romney jokes?

Peace,
Tex Shelters

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I Survived Mexicans at the May Day Rally

In Current Events, Human Rights and the Constitution, Humor on May 1, 2011 at 21:22

Mexican Americans scaring us by fighting for their rights on May Day from http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8253293

Dear Real Americans:

I survived a horrifying experience this weekend. I was trying to hire some labor down on the Southside to clean out the septic tanks at my various properties in the county, and I landed smack dab into the May Day rally. I’m not talking about young girls in Easter dresses dancing around a May pole, no sirree. I’m talking about a group of marching illegals coming up the avenue with signs supporting rights and what not. They were interfering with my free enterprise creating jobs and such for their people. Can’t they see how their actions of unity hurts America?

How do I know they were illegals? The signs promoted “Derechos Humanos” and other foreign ideas in their foreign language. They also chanted scary things in Mezkin like “El Puerquo, You Need Those, Ham and a Vegetable” (1), and “Obama, excuse us, it is in la Lunch. (2)” I don’t understand what kind of lunch they were demanding, but I was ready to take them all to Taco Bell for real Mexican cuisine if they came after me.

I can’t tell you whether there were any dyed in the wool, true blue Americans there, cause all I could focus on was the dark skinned folks. I knew they were up to no good cause they were chanting, and singing and drumming and dancing and showing a signs of unity that the Koch brothers pay for at the Tea Party rallies (link). I wonder what left wing communist organization was paying these Mezkins to threaten us. I bet the Taliban are behind it.

I made the mistake of getting out of my Chevy and got swept up in the crowd and ended up at their rallying point, a kind of illegal immigrant Nuremberg. I had to plug my ears as I heard things in perfect English (obviously due to their Taliban training) as they shouted things like “education for everyone”, “defend ethnic studies”, and “working together.”  They even stole from the Tea Party phrase book and talked about “defending our culture.” I felt the apocalypse flow over me like nuclear radiation in a tsunami.

As I stumbled out of the “kill the gringo rally” in a daze, only a few radical liberals brain washed by their God Obama, noticed me. They pushed their petitions at me to support ethnic studies, impeach Jan Brewer, or to take their “Save the Teachers” buttons. I knew that God was testing me, and only God’s hatred of illegals propelled me to find my car.

Luckily, I knew of a camp of homeless people where I could get people to work for me cleaning out my sewage. I am a businessman, and I had to create jobs for America.

The chants actually say:
1. “El Pueblo Unido, Jamas’ Sera’ Vencido” (The people united with never be defeated) and
2. “Escucha Obama, Estamos en la Lucha” (Listen Obama, we are in the fight)
but Tex doesn’t know any better.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

Where is the Proof that Obama is even Human?

In Current Events, Election Politics, Humor on April 27, 2011 at 19:55

Tex Shelters here, and I want to address the most important issue facing Americans. I am not talking about the war on Christmas that happens every summer when stores sell things like bathing suits, sunscreen and beach towels and completely ignores the blessed birth of Christ in the winter. No, I am talking about Obama’s status as a human on this planet.

The Donald, Mr. Trump, has clearly proven that Obama has no birth certificate, or at least he’s proved that making things up about the Dread Socialist Obama is a way to motivate the Republican base to support your possible run for the Republican nomination for President.  (link to poll)

Conservative comedian Nick DiPaolo, who hates the made up term birther but loves the made up term Obamacare, even questioned Obama’s education by asking for someone who went to law school with Obama to come forward and prove the President attended school. (Click here to see the paranoid DiPaolo’s “comedy”.)

I hope that Mr. DiPaolo runs for president too since he is as wise and logical as The Donald, and he’s so edgy and confident in his stereotyping of those he disagrees with like other great Americans from Coulter, to Ayn Rand, to Limbaugh and Savage. Thus, I throw my hat into the ring of possible potential presidential candidates if everything goes my way as well. And I also demand proof of things from Obama.

First, I want to see a copy of Obama’s physical examinations to prove that he is human. The Constitution clearly states that you must be a human to be president, and I have yet to see proof that Obama is. Why won’t any of Obama’s supposed doctors come forward? Perhaps he’s not really a human?

Why hasn’t Michelle Obama come forward with proof Obama is really a man. How do we know that Obama didn’t have a sex change and was really a woman? What proof do we really have? Until I see a photo of Obama’s penis, I can’t believe Obama’s a man. Why won’t Obama come forward with his penis?

How do we know that Obama isn’t a mixture of alien and human DNA? Where are the tests that prove Obama’s DNA is fully human and not mixed in with the DNA from the 1947 alien autopsy in Roswell New Mexico? We won’t know until a full analysis of Obama’s DNA is completed.

Obama may be a hologram. How do we really know he’s not a projection from a science project Soviet Madman Stalin started in the 1950s and his projection is here to destroy us all? Until we get directors Michael Bay and James Cameron to investigate this possible special effect, we have no proof Obama’s NOT a hologram. Maybe the Trilateral Commission created this Holobamagram, or the Bilderberg Group.

Certainly we know that Obama went to a radical communist fascist black power Christian church for years, but is he really a Christian? Until Jesus Christ comes back and tells us that Obama is a Christian, we will never really know. Why won’t Jesus Christ come forward with the proof of Obama’s Christianity?

Obama could be a figment of our imagination or a mass delusion created by the fluoride in our water. There is no way to disprove this, and thus it could be true.

We need more proof about Obama, or we will keep making up things about Obama to discredit him or until it no longer haunts us to have a black president.

Tex Shelters for President, 2012, maybe.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

The Super Bowl of Nationalism and Conformity

In Current Events, Humor on February 7, 2011 at 02:51

Just a little quip while I finish my latest installment for “Real Security Threats”.  Please comment and tell me who you want to see play the Super Bowl next time.

Well I missed it. I wanted to see The Black Eyed Peas (BEP) during the half-time show, but I didn’t know when it was on. I hear they played “I got a feeling” with Will.I.Am cheering “get up off the couch!” to the throngs of football watchers. Hey, at least Lady Gaga has lyrics that make you go, “What?!” now and again. The BEP have some of the stupidest lyrics in music history, exemplified by another of the night’s selections, “Boom Boom Pow”.

With “Pump it” the BEP didn’t even bother creating their own musical back track for their inane lyrics, while pimping and primpin’, they stole the whole track from Dick Dale, king of surf rock.

Then they went into their best known, the best of the bunch, “Let’s get it Started”. Yes, and they had their guest stars too.

I do think the BEP were a good choice for Middle America, but there were bands I would rather see.

I would like to hear Trent Reznor of NIN singing, “I want to (love) you like an animal” for one. No one would remember the costume malfunction after that.

I would also like to hear Pearl Jam sing “Better Man” right before a PSA about battered women.

Hearing Devo sing “Jerking Back and Forth”, “Praying Hands” or the sarcastic “Beautiful World” , featuring the original video for the song, would be a change from the über patriotism of this football Sunday.

Rage Against the Machine with Zack de la Rocha screaming, “ef you; I won’t do what ya tell me” would be a nice change to this massive celebration of mass conformity.

And on the day when Reagan was celebrated for being a good president in all the rewritten text books, it would have been nice to see a reunited Dead Kennedys (another overrated mythological president, but nothing like Reagan), sing, “We’ve got a Bigger Problem Now”,

“We’ve Got A Bigger Problem Now”

Last call for alcohol. Last call for your freedom of speech. Drink up. Happy hour is now enforced by law. Don’t forget our house special, it’s called a Trickie Dickie Screwdriver. It’s got one part Jack Daniels, two parts purple Kool-Aid, and a jigger of formaldehyde from the jar with Hitler’s brain in it we got in the back storeroom. Happy trails to you. Happy trails to you. I am Emperor Ronald Reagan Born again with fascist cravings Still, you made me president Human rights will soon go ‘way I am now your Shah today Now I command all of you Now you’re going to pray in school I’ll make sure they’re Christian too California Uber alles Uber alles California Ku Klux Klan will control you Still you think it’s natural Nigger knockin’ for the master race Still you wear the happy face You closed your eyes, can’t happen here Alexander Haig is near Vietnam won’t come back you say Join the army or you will pay California Uber alles Uber alles California Yeah, that’s it. Just relax. Have another drink, few more pretzels, little more MSG. Turn on those Dallas Cowboys on your TV. Lock your doors. Close your mind. It’s time for the two-minute warning. Welcome to 1984 Are you ready for the third world war?!? You too will meet the secret police They’ll draft you and they’ll jail your niece You’ll go quitely to boot camp They’ll shoot you dead, make you a man Don’t you worry, it’s for a cause Feeding global corporations’ claws Die on our brand new poison gas El Salvador or Afghanistan Making money for President Reagan And all the friends of President Reagan California Uber alles Uber alles California

Thank you Jello! If you ever play the Super Nowl, I want a ticket.

There could be so many other better choices, perhaps Steven Colbert?, but at least the Black Eyed Peas are musically relevant to this century.

Now it’s your turn. Who do you want to see at play the next Super Bowl?

Peace,
Tex Shelters

A Summary of the State of the Union Address

In Current Events, Humor on January 25, 2011 at 23:20

No need to see the address. Really, aren’t these always pandering, no matter who is president? Here’s a summary for you:

Obama’s coming State of the Union Address, or SOTU (with his running thoughts in parenthesis):

Obama:

My Fellow Americans (shut up you eff’ed up birthers):

God reference stating Obama’s and America’s reverence for the mythical man in the sky. Blah blah blah we face challenges. Blah, blah, the end of the recession is near though we still face challenges.

Blah blah blah we must come together Democrats, Republicans, blahs and blahs and blahs and blahs and work for the common good blah blah blah.

We will freeze spending because blah blah blah and encourage job growth through incentives to business blah blah blah pander pander pander (I’m in as pres in 2012!)

Security, troops doing good job, security.

Economy turning around blah blah empty metaphor featuring ship and slow steering, (I hope they believe this load) spiritual reference that makes one think of MLK (god forbid not Malcolm X)

Reference to “those of us in our hearts still struggling for life” (Giffords) and those everywhere making America a safer place whether in foreign land 1, or 2, or 3, or 4 (see, I support the troops everyone, see?)

It is a new day in America paraphrase of Reagan to please the 18 Republican votes he got in 2008 (I hope the Republicans like me more now!)

We have accomplished much, but more work must be done. Another ass-kissing statement about bipartisanship for the Republicans.

We can’t be free until all citizens of the world are free oblique reference to Tunisia (I hope Americans don’t know we support the Egyptian dictatorship with a $ billion each year) and we will be the shining light for freedom for people around the globe.

Rah rah cheerleading patriotic god filled closing.

(Exit stage right)

Peace,
Tex Shelters

Twas the Night Before Christmas—a Tex Shelters version for 2010

In Current Events, Economics, Humor on December 17, 2010 at 18:32

Twas the Night Before Christmas—a Tex Shelters version for 2010

(Play the audio while you read along: sorry, couldn’t link the audio only version, yet)

Twas the Night before Christmas, when all through the House
failed ideas were stirring, from Congressmen’s mouths
platitudes were spun by the podium with care
that deficits would be cut with John Boehner there

The billionaires were nested in their diamond-crusted toboggans
While visions of slave labour danced in their noggins
Obama and Clinton tried hard to run this village
along with corporate pirates on their long winter’s pillage

When out on the mall I heard such a noise
Glenn Beck held a rally for his Tea Party boys
Holding signs with slogans calling Obama a commie
crying for Santa, Jesus and their mommy

The media shone on the new-minted star
“Republicans love America more, by far”
When from my bloodshot eyes should arise
riding bloodless horses were death’s allies in human disguise

Came a buxom hot driver, so delightful and spunky
I knew in a moment that she was no flunky
More rapid than glaciers her clever quips came
faster than teen pregnancy Sarah Palin met fame

Now Koch, now Wal-Mart, now Citigroup and Kaiser,
On AmEx, On Goldman Sachs, On AIG, and Pfizer
To the top of the Congressional steps, to the top of the list
Now take away, take away, take legislative gifts

As the empty cupboards in the recession they dry
When they meet the Congressman who loves to cry
So up to the lobbyists the Congressmen flew
every year the donations and the lobbying grew

And then in a cheer I heard from the rich
The dancing on graves in delight made them twitch
As democracy died and was hitting the ground
in our pockets and bank accounts the plutocrats bound

They were dressed up in gold from their teeth to their soles
felt they deserved our money, they were brutishly bold
a bundle of bills have been written for them
then they took all our clothes, down to the hem

Their eyes did shimmer, their portfolios merry
they took from the government, they were never wary
that they would pay for the benefits they got
if you own Congress, you’ll never get caught

On their list of excuses for taking such wealth
Was that it was good for everyone, the economies health
They said if the government stopped all their plunder
The economy would falter; it would be a blunder

They became chubby and fat on all of our cash
ending their tax cuts would be too rash
they promised that there would be no more jobs
if we tried to make sure they couldn’t rob

They’d say that the tax cuts created work
if you disagreed with facts, you were a big jerk
And sticking their fingers inside our nose
They gave a nod to Congress as their profits rose

Congress stopped payments, to those unemployed
This part of the job they really enjoyed
increasing the suffering and holiday plight
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

Peace,
Tex Shelters

Keep Fear Alive

In Current Events, Election Politics, Humor on October 28, 2010 at 14:59

Slogans for the March to Keep Fear Alive on Saturday, Oct 30, by Tex Shelters

“Hope is Weakness; Fear is strength”

“Polling booths are full of disease; don’t vote”

“Bombing foreigners is the only cure for fear”

“Who needs ideas when fear is on your side”

“God is Great, Fear is Greater”

“Policy is weakness; fear is our real asset”

“Rational decisions start from a place of utter terror”

“Don’t think sanely; continue being fearful”

“Be afraid, for the flag, for motherhood, for America”

“Courage in the face of fright is Un-American”

“If you’re not afraid, You’re Not paying Attention”

“Fear is pro-life”

“Keep the Government out of our Fear”

“Obama is a scary black man; I’m not a Bigot”

“Be Afraid like the Founding Father Were”

“Taxes are Scary”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpXqz_QugAY

“Jose’ and Maria are comin’ for you”

“Juan Williams was Right; Fear all Muslims”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3QKmaS2FH8

“Be Strong America; Be Afraid”

“Socialize Medicine is scary; Corporate Medicine is American cause only the rich can afford it”

“I want my America, and fear, back”

Please add your own. The best one might get credit in my movie.

Yours,
Tex Shelters

 

Muslims have Sent Mayor Bloomberg to Hell

In Current Events, Election Politics, Humor on August 18, 2010 at 16:12

Even though New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is Jewish, he’s going to hell. Why? Because he not only spoke in favor of allowing a Muslim Terrorist Training Center on ground zero (you know, the building the liberals call a “community center”), he defiled the Constitution while supporting terrorism, i.e. Muslim rights.

The simple fact is this building is private property, and the owners have a right to use the building as a house of worship.

 

“The government has no right whatsoever to deny that right –and if it were tried, the courts would almost certainly strike it down as a violation of the US Constitution. Whatever you may think of the proposed mosque and community center, lost in the heat of the debate has been a basic question – should government attempt to deny private citizens the right to build a house of worship on private property based on their particular religion? That may happen in other countries, but we should never allow it to happen here. This nation was founded on the principle that the government must never choose between religions, or favor one over another.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/richard-adams-blog/2010/aug/03/michael-bloomberg-ground-zero-mosque

Bloomberg is Jewish, so he doesn’t know about religious persecution like us Christians do. Bloomberg also felt it necessary to remember history or times when Catholics, Quakers, and Jews were prevented from having a house of worship on Manhattan. How dare he use historical fact in an attempt to prevent modern hysteria! Damn him and his mitzvahs! He even points out that Muslims died in the World Trade Center on 9/11, as if we should care. They were all in on the 9/11 plot and these Islamo terrorists were martyring themselves so later they could be used as an example of a good Muslim so Bloomberg would allow terrorist training center to be built on that spot. It’s sickening how clever those Muslims are. They even planned 49 years ago to get Obama’s name in the Hawaiian papers to fake his birth so they could have a Muslim president when the terrorist training center in New York City.

Oh sure, stupid liberals think this is some kind of “community center” and that make it okay to allow terrorists (Muslims) to have a center in the center of New York.

While most libtards are squawking on about right, Howard Dean, former DNC chair, recognizes that bending over is the best way to handle this, “the best way to heal the wounds is not to have a court battle, but to sit down and try to work things out.” Yes, the whiny liberals should get off their feet and sit down and talk this out with the people that hate them.

The man behind the Terrorist “community” Center is Imam Feisal. He is so dangerous that he “has participated at the Aspen Institute in Muslim-Christian-Jewish working groups looking at ways to promote greater religious tolerance”. (link) A Muslim promoting religious tolerance would be like a French man promoting bathing or a liberal promoting hard work; it just aint gonna happen.

Some people say that Imam Feisal, the centers main proponent, worked with the FBI to ferret out domestic Islamic terrorists. See how clever he is, turning in his own people so that he could get that Muslim terrorist training center built in New York City so terrorist Muslim boys could learn the American game of basketball on the center’s basketball courts, join the NBA, and then rule our game and take over America. They also plan to have a deepwater emersion terrorist training tank to teach Hamas terrorists how to swim and invade Israel my sea form Gaza.

 

The simple fact is this building is private property, and the owners have a right to use the building as a house of worship.

 

“The government has no right whatsoever to deny that right – and if it were tried, the courts would almost certainly strike it down as a violation of the US Constitution. Whatever you may think of the proposed mosque and community center, lost in the heat of the debate has been a basic question – should government attempt to deny private citizens the right to build a house of worship on private property based on their particular religion? That may happen in other countries, but we should never allow it to happen here. This nation was founded on the principle that the government must never choose between religions, or favor one over another.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/richard-adams-blog/2010/aug/03/michael-bloomberg-ground-zero-mosque

Thankfully, Harry Reid is cowering under our hysterical claims.

“The First Amendment protects freedom of religion,” reads a statement from Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s office (D-Nev.). “Senator Reid respects that but thinks that the mosque should be built someplace else. If the Republicans are being sincere, they would help us pass this long overdue bill to help the first responders whose health and livelihoods have been devastated because of their bravery on 911, rather than continuing to block this much-needed legislation.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/16/reid-mosque-should-be-bui_n_683762.html

While I know it’s my patriotic duty to ignore the words of Imam Feisal when reporting about his community center plan, I figure, he will just spew some anti-Semitic, anti-American crap just like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (all Muslims are alike you know) and thus discredit himself.

The project has been mischaracterized, so I want to explain clearly what it would be. Our planned 13-story community center is intended for Park Place between Church St. and West Broadway. It is not a mosque, although it will include a space for Muslim prayer services. It will have a swimming pool, basketball court, meeting rooms, a 500-seat auditorium, banquet facilities and many other things a community needs to be healthy. The center will offer theatrical programming, art exhibitions and cooking classes. These are amenities missing now from this part of the city.
http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2010/05/26/2010-05-26_the_truth_about_the_mosque_the_leader_of_proposed_muslim_center_near_ground_zero.html#ixzz0wvszqcOC

See, I told you they would have basketball and swimming. And, they are going to have cooking classes so they can become short order cooks in all the Denny’s in the U.S. and slowly kill us all with their Grande Slam Muslim Meat Platter.

President Obama
CO/ The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500-0004
or phone: (202) 456-1414

Or send note online:  http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

Congressional switchboard 800-828-0498

Just ask for the office of your Senator or Representative

House of Representatives
Senate

So be aware my Patriotic friends, or you may become religiously tolerant and bi-cultural curious like all un-American liberal traitors if you don’t write Congress and the President and tell them to stop this Muslim thingy we are against because Fox News and others on the TV and radio told us to be afraid of.

And a reprise of Fear all Muslims, just cause it’s scary and amusing.

Yours,
Tex Shelters

Sarah Palin’s Sunday

In Election Politics, Humor on August 8, 2010 at 18:22

While the rest of you average Americans, whether Socialist Demoncrats or Real Americans, are traversing your mundane life of mowing lawns, watching baseball, sipping lattes in a cafe going to church, or sinning, Sarah Palin is hard doing God’s work and trying to save America. Here’s an average Sunday for the former Governor of Alaska turned savoir.

1. Refudiate the Devil (link)

2. Get protection against witches at her church (video)

3. Practice reading from her hands (video)

4. Curse Obama in church with a prayer, “Socialist Repent!”. (link)

5. Looking out her back yard at the scenic view of Russia. (link)

6. Brainstorm ways to exploit Trig for political advantage. (link)

7. Enjoy a scenic view of Denali National Park from helicopter while patriotically plugging wolves with an M-16. (wolf hunting plan for Alaska)

8. Outing to the Alaskan Wilderness to paint Mama Grizzlies bears Pink as Elephants. (link)

9.  Brain storm other animals she can use as metaphors for women republicans such as “Republican women are like hippopotamuses, if you jump in our water, you better be ready for the fight of your life”, or “Republican women are like Giraffes when it comes to our families; no branch is too high for us to feed our famliy from”, or “Republican women are like squirrels, always saving for a cold day and getting sustenance from nuts” or  “Republican Woman are like the giant beavers (read about Jesus Beavers) from when Jesus was around cause they loved Jesus too and they are home makers.”

10. Working on her new book, “How to Take Federal Money While Hating the Federal Government”.

Simply put, Alaska has made a habit of transferring its operating costs to the federal government. The state pulls out nearly two times as much money as it pitches in to the Treasury, a drain that looks especially bad in light of the state’s fiscal reality. Today, Alaska enjoys a healthy budget surplus, and it sits on a Permanent Fund of more than $39 billion. It also refuses to levy sales or income taxes on its citizens.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/3/16105/50263/679/584098

And much much more!  Have a great Sunday!

Yours,
Tex Shelters