Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

We Need a Sharia Law for Christ

In Current Events, Economics, Humor, Religion on March 15, 2012 at 20:44

Republicans in your Vagina from angryblacklady.com

I am morally opposed to sex, as are all God fearing men. That is why I want to control what humans, and women, do with their bodies, including the use of birth control and abortion. By preventing people, and women, from lusty, hot, dripping, moist, manly sex and fornication, I am showing my love for my fellow man, for I want them to take the righteous path God has laid out for us. We must pump fear of sex in and out of the American public to show our righteousness.

While I recognize that Muslims are heathens and their religion is wrong, I have to salute them for their ability to control women through laws, intimidation and violence. Until Christians develop our own Sharia Law for Christ, we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven as true believers of the faith.

Gov. Perry of Texas, a God fearing man, understands that we need to keep women under control, and we must take away their health care. Therefore, he is cutting funding for the Texas Women’s Health Program.  Perry understands that if women had health care, they would be less dependent on men, and God commands that women obey men.

Perry also signed a bill into law ensures that Texans forcibly insert probes into women who want an abortion. Under our Sharia Law for Christ, we would probe women forcibly to create awareness that they are pregnant. Otherwise, women might not know.

Women have too much power and that is why God has been punishing single women for so long. Under Sharia Law for Christ, we will cut programs for families such as Head Start that are abused by families to help poor kids get smarter. We don’t need more smart kids; they won’t vote Republican.

Under Sharia Law for Christ, we must also cut the WIC program for “Woman, Infants and Children.” We must stop this program that helps families eat and makes it easier for women in abusive relationships to live on their own. When we institute our Sharia Law for Christ, independent women will no longer be tolerated. We need to also cut the TANF program (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) that goes to these welfare sluts who refuse to submit to men. The 8% cuts in this program, so far, are too small to really put a dent in this problem. We must cut 100%!

Most importantly, the Sharia Law for Christ would put an end to all the whiny females that complain when sex goes bad. Rape is not rape, and Republicans are endeavoring spiritually to legally change the definition of rape and make is clear that rape is only when it’s forced, not coerced. Under Sharia Law for Christ, if you’re not brutally beaten during sex, it’s not rape. Even so, if you weren’t meant to be raped, God would have made you a man.

And Georgia has the right idea. They are helping women stop being victims by changing the term used for raped women at trials from “victim” to “accuser”.  I say we go further and call these “accusers”, “whiners.” And the men accused of rape shouldn’t be called “the accused” anymore, they should be called, “the stud” when on trial for rape. Under Sharia Law for Christ, I hope we get rid of all these unholy rape laws.

Another addition to the Sharia Law for Christ is the Blunt Amendment that would have allowed your employer, not yourself or your physician, to decide what kind of health care you could get based on his or her religious convictions. Doctors are NOT the ones who should be advising women on health care, only employers are wise enough to know what women need. Besides, Doctors are scientists, and they lie about the way the world works. Just look at the global warming hoax. Only someone else’s God should be consulted when women make reproductive choices. Did I say choices? Under Sharia Law for Christ, there would be no choices.

Not to be outdone, Arizona Republicans are proposing a law that would allow an employer to fire you if they find you are using birth control as birth control. Moreover, if you are using contraception for a medical condition other than birth control, you must write a letter to your boss explaining why you are using it. While Arizona foreclosures are on the rise again, it’s nice to see the legislature focusing on vaginas. Sharia Law for Christ must continue the tradition of Sharia Law for Muslims and focus on vaginas and what women do with their bodies.

Finally, under Sharia Law for Christ, we would protect the life of the fetus (and not a pregnant woman), especially a human fetus (as apposed to a female fetus), with the Protect Life Act, HR 358, that was passed in the House. The law would allow hospitals to deny abortion care without any exception for emergency situations. Meghan Rhoads, unholy trollop and women’s rights researcher at Human Rights Watch, whines about this, ““The misnamed Protect Life Act is about allowing women to die if they need an emergency abortion.”” She continues, ““It is a vicious attack on women’s rights and on the most basic right to life.””   Abortion is a viscous attack on my morality and God, and she thinks a woman’s life trumps my God! Our country is damned, oh lord!

If only we could have our own virginity tests that they have in some nations have under Muslim Sharia Law. That’s our next project.

Please educate yourself further about human rights and read the links provided in the article if you are not yet outraged by the Republican positions on health care, choice and social programs and you think they care about women or men. 

Tex Shelters

Today is the Best Day to Be Kind

In Current Events, Religion on December 23, 2010 at 23:52

Phil Jackson, coach of the Los Angeles Lakers known for his Zen-like Buddhist qualities, has joined the chorus defending Christmas from the scourge of heathens wanting people to work during the holiest holiday of the calendar year, December 25.

“Now, I see they have like six games (actually, five) on Christmas. It’s like Christian holidays don’t mean anything to (the NBA) anymore. You just go out and play and entertain (on) TV. It’s really weird.””

Yea, it’s really weird that millionaires who entertain the public for a living might be asked to work on Christmas like millions of other people at airports, in restaurants, in convenience stores, in hospitals and fire and police stations around the nation. Yea, it’s weird that the NBA might want to make money out of a holiday like Christmas. Nobody else in America is trying to make money and commercialize Christmas. How dare the NBA try to commercialize a Christian holiday.

I’ll make a deal with you Phil. If you want to take the day off, I will coach for you for the $122,000 you get per game. I will even provide my own transportation to Los Angeles. Heck, with Kobe Bryant on the Lakers, the team basically coaches itself. Jackson will make over $10 million dollars to coach the Lakers this year.  http://www.nesn.com/2010/12/phil-jackson-in-no-position-to-complain-about-working-on-christmas-day.html Do I begrudge him his salary? No. But his complaints about working on Christmas are out of touch and belittles all hard-working Americans.

Who here feels sad for Republican Senators and Representatives who had to do the hard job of voting no on bills before Christmas? Many Americans work up to the 24th of December, get Christmas off, and if they don’t take vacation days, go back to work the next business day or the 26th, whichever is sooner. Senator Kyl and Senator DeMint are “outraged” by this intrusion into the Christmas season by making them work as much as other Americans who still have jobs do every year. http://www.politicususa.com/en/gop-christmas-hypocrisy

“It is impossible to do all of the things that the majority leader laid out without doing – frankly, without disrespecting the institution and without disrespecting one of the two holiest of holidays for Christians and the families of all of the Senate, not just the senators themselves but all of the staff,” Kyl said Tuesday.

How dare Senator Reid and Representative Pelosi make these poor beleaguered Christians work. Kyl and DeMint must see themselves as Christians who are being put upon by Herod, the Democrats, and they are the innocent Christian babies in Bethlehem or the Christians in the Coliseum fighting lions.

While I don’t call myself a Christian, I was taught that Christians, and Christ, are on earth to help others. By passing unemployment insurance, ending DADT, and passing the START treaty during December, Congress has help millions be able to eat, serve without discrimination or breaking the eighth commandment injunction against bearing false witness and increased peace on earth by reducing the number of nuclear weapons on our planet. Working during December to better the planet is a great Christian act. At least that is what this Taoist-leaning humanist learned about authentic Christians during his childhood.

A few other things to note: First, humans are the one’s who sanctified Dec. 25th. There is nothing more sacred about that day than any other except there is common agreement on its value. Second, why didn’t we hear Joe Liebermann or Bernie Sanders complain when they worked on days of Hanukkah? Perhaps they see their duty as Senators is something worth taking seriously? Perhaps they aren’t looking for an excuse to avoid work? What about Ralph Ellison, the only openly Muslim Congress Member? He worked during Ramadan without a peep. Why? Because like it is in Christianity, the call to service in Islam is strong.

What about the pagans that worked on the Solstice, or the atheists that had to put up with the Christian ramblings during Senate hearings?  How about the unemployed, homeless, poor, and other suffering Americans who would gratefully work any job on the holidays? Do Republican Senators really care?

When is the best day to help others, to be of service, to talk with whatever god you believe in, to be kind to someone? Today is the best day.

Tex Shelters

P.S. Tex Shelters will be posting against next week, on the 27 or 28 of December, the heathen!