texshelters

Posts Tagged ‘Trump’

Liberal Government Regulations are a Parasitic Ponzi Scheme

In Economics, Humor on September 2, 2011 at 21:32

Cartoon from edubass.com

Regulations are ruining the entrepreneurial spirit in America. How do I know this is true? Well, I just told you. And I am sure that the heads of the Forbes 500 would agree that if we just got rid of regulations, we would start hiring people yesterday.

Regulations get in the way of freedom. If someone wants to eat tainted meat and take poisonous medication, who is the Food and Drug Administration to say otherwise? Consumers can test their own food and drugs if they want; regulation only makes us dependent on scientists.

Regulations cut into our profit margins. After having to deal with regulations, who has the free cash to hire anyone? We can’t afford to hire anyone after paying for our megayachts, indoor shark tanks, trips overseas to our tax shelters in our private jets, the multi-million dollar bonuses we pay ourselves, lobbying expenses to avoid taxes and regulation, legal fees to defend against lawsuits, and advertising to enhance our corporate image.

The reason we have no oil in the United States is regulation. BP spent $93.4 million dollars to improve their image after the 2009 oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Containment costs for the BP spill were estimated around $4 billion. However, they didn’t waste their money buying that $500,000 remote shut-off switch that would have contained the spill, and that’s what’s important. But the government regulatory gestapo wants all rigs to have that shut off valve, as if oil spills were a problem. Regulation is hurting our economy and our oil independence.

If we could further deregulate the media, that would help our economy and also help our democracy. In 2004, five corporations owned 90% of the media outlets in the U.S. We are substantially behind Italy where one man, President Berlusconi, controls 80% of the private media channels.

If only we could get Donald Trump that kind of media control and elect him President, we’d all be better off. As it is now, you have to deal with five different corporate executives in the United States to get blanket media coverage. That gets expensive. With the Donald in charge, it would be much easier to get our message out. Right now its torture to get favorable corporate coverage with Rachel Maddow haunting our every step and being so outrageously liberal that she makes up for the 23 hours of daily corporate news with her one hour of coverage. Thankfully, the weekend is safe from her rantings about the Koch brothers control of the Tea Party.

Contaminated water is not dangerous, regulation is. So lets stop testing water quality. Regulation of water interferes with cancer research. If the water were safe, what would oncologists study? Furthermore, regulating water quality is a bottled water trade barrier. We could greatly enhance that market if we just stop testing the water and regulating the effluence from factories, houses and municipalities. It could be a win-win situation. But the socialist U.S. government wants to control our drinking supply as a way to control the people.

Building codes are just a waste of time and money. Haiti turned out quite well without them during their 2010 earthquake.

They also didn’t need building codes in China in 2008. And just because building codes saved lives in Mexico City in 1985 doesn’t mean they are a good thing. As all good Republicans and billionaires know, profit must come first at all costs.

As I have just proven, all regulations are all bad all the time. I am sure you can add your own dangerous regulations to the list.

The upside of regulation is that it gives us an excuse for not hiring as we continue to send jobs overseas. Besides, we’re making all the money we need without dealing with pesky workers.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

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Republicans are Losing Their Best and Their Brightest by Tex Shelters

In Current Events, Humor on May 17, 2011 at 23:47

Huckabee and Nugent Wango Tango from http://thedailydeets.com/archives/47449

Republicans are losing their best people in droves as we head toward the 2012 presidential race faster than a Sarah Palin tweet become irrelevant. And I am not talking about women, Latinos and Blacks.  Those minorities will never be American enough to be true Republicans. And remember I said, “The Best and Brightest.”

No, I am talking about Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump who have decided to put their own financial interest above America. I salute their decisions, but it is a loss to the Republican cause. Who now with step forward with the twin flags of evangelicalism and hypocritical free market, anti-government talking points. Who will stand against the facts about Obama’s birth certificate in a time of crisis in America? Who will fight for the facts of creationism, the facts that make this nation great, over the liberal dogma of science in the classroom?

Donald Trump is a stunning loss. Who thought that The Donald would drop out when he still had work to do fabricating issues from the flotsam of previous failed billionaire bids for the White House?  In his concession speech, he said that, “”Business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.””  He also made the unfalsifiable claim that he could win the Republican primary and the White House, if he wanted to.

Trump could see that all the attention he was getting for making up factoids was damaging his clean cut image as a paragon of virtue, so he had to drop out.

Other reasons Trump dropped out include:

His hair has a higher Q rating.

His slogan “You’re fired” didn’t test well.

Oprah wouldn’t interview him on her show.

America’s sweetheart Rachel Maddow didn’t give him enough attention.

Donors were afraid that giving money to him was a big gamble.

Trump has spent less than fourteen years in the United States having spent the rest on Mars.

Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin know more about American history and the Constitution than him.

Not to be outdone, former Arkansas Governor and current Baptist Minister and radio show host Mike Huckabee also says he could have won the nomination. However, God told him not to run. As Huckabee pointed out, “All the factors say go, but my heart says no”, and “Being president is a job that takes one to the limit of his or her human capacity. For me, to do it apart from the inner confidence that I was undertaking it without God’s full blessing is simply unthinkable.” (link) 

So, just like Trump relied on his own God, Trump, to make the decision for him, Huckabee relied on his God for he can’t think with the assist form Yahweh.

Other than his calling from God to continue making money from his television show and thus not run for President, Huckabee’s reasons for not running for President include:

The possibility that Huckabee could tour with Ted Nugent on his evangelical “Pussys Purring for God” tour.

Huckabee wants to spend more time reinventing history with sound bites for kids. http://learnourhistory.com/ on Youtube
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0511/54794.html

He wants to spend more time idolizing Reagan.

Huckabee wants to spend more time exploring same sex marriage and how it will ruin America.

Huckabee dropped out because they refused to change the title of President to “Baptist in Chief”.

He is organizing “month of prayer” events to pray for an end to abortions.

Other notables who have dropped out of the race before starting include Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, South Dakota Sen. John Thune and Indiana Rep. Mike Pence.

Barbour dropped out because Mississippi wouldn’t support a commemorative license plate to Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, Confederate General and early KKK Grand Wizard. How dare the racist left prevent the commemoration of a Grand Wizard. I would drop out too.

John Thune will be dedicating himself to learning English, which he hopes one day will become the official language of the United States.

Mike Pence is going to stay in Indiana and run for Governor where he can easily refuse federal funds and not burden taxpayers using Air Force 1 like Comrade Obama does. (link)

I don’t know what we are going to do without these paragons of Americanism. All we can do is hope that Bachmann and Palin jump into the race. Really, how excited can anyone get over writing Mitt Romney jokes?

Peace,
Tex Shelters

Where is the Proof that Obama is even Human?

In Current Events, Election Politics, Humor on April 27, 2011 at 19:55

Tex Shelters here, and I want to address the most important issue facing Americans. I am not talking about the war on Christmas that happens every summer when stores sell things like bathing suits, sunscreen and beach towels and completely ignores the blessed birth of Christ in the winter. No, I am talking about Obama’s status as a human on this planet.

The Donald, Mr. Trump, has clearly proven that Obama has no birth certificate, or at least he’s proved that making things up about the Dread Socialist Obama is a way to motivate the Republican base to support your possible run for the Republican nomination for President.  (link to poll)

Conservative comedian Nick DiPaolo, who hates the made up term birther but loves the made up term Obamacare, even questioned Obama’s education by asking for someone who went to law school with Obama to come forward and prove the President attended school. (Click here to see the paranoid DiPaolo’s “comedy”.)

I hope that Mr. DiPaolo runs for president too since he is as wise and logical as The Donald, and he’s so edgy and confident in his stereotyping of those he disagrees with like other great Americans from Coulter, to Ayn Rand, to Limbaugh and Savage. Thus, I throw my hat into the ring of possible potential presidential candidates if everything goes my way as well. And I also demand proof of things from Obama.

First, I want to see a copy of Obama’s physical examinations to prove that he is human. The Constitution clearly states that you must be a human to be president, and I have yet to see proof that Obama is. Why won’t any of Obama’s supposed doctors come forward? Perhaps he’s not really a human?

Why hasn’t Michelle Obama come forward with proof Obama is really a man. How do we know that Obama didn’t have a sex change and was really a woman? What proof do we really have? Until I see a photo of Obama’s penis, I can’t believe Obama’s a man. Why won’t Obama come forward with his penis?

How do we know that Obama isn’t a mixture of alien and human DNA? Where are the tests that prove Obama’s DNA is fully human and not mixed in with the DNA from the 1947 alien autopsy in Roswell New Mexico? We won’t know until a full analysis of Obama’s DNA is completed.

Obama may be a hologram. How do we really know he’s not a projection from a science project Soviet Madman Stalin started in the 1950s and his projection is here to destroy us all? Until we get directors Michael Bay and James Cameron to investigate this possible special effect, we have no proof Obama’s NOT a hologram. Maybe the Trilateral Commission created this Holobamagram, or the Bilderberg Group.

Certainly we know that Obama went to a radical communist fascist black power Christian church for years, but is he really a Christian? Until Jesus Christ comes back and tells us that Obama is a Christian, we will never really know. Why won’t Jesus Christ come forward with the proof of Obama’s Christianity?

Obama could be a figment of our imagination or a mass delusion created by the fluoride in our water. There is no way to disprove this, and thus it could be true.

We need more proof about Obama, or we will keep making up things about Obama to discredit him or until it no longer haunts us to have a black president.

Tex Shelters for President, 2012, maybe.

Peace,
Tex Shelters