We Need a Sharia Law for Christ

Republicans in your Vagina from angryblacklady.com

I am morally opposed to sex, as are all God fearing men. That is why I want to control what humans, and women, do with their bodies, including the use of birth control and abortion. By preventing people, and women, from lusty, hot, dripping, moist, manly sex and fornication, I am showing my love for my fellow man, for I want them to take the righteous path God has laid out for us. We must pump fear of sex in and out of the American public to show our righteousness.

While I recognize that Muslims are heathens and their religion is wrong, I have to salute them for their ability to control women through laws, intimidation and violence. Until Christians develop our own Sharia Law for Christ, we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven as true believers of the faith.

Gov. Perry of Texas, a God fearing man, understands that we need to keep women under control, and we must take away their health care. Therefore, he is cutting funding for the Texas Women’s Health Program.  Perry understands that if women had health care, they would be less dependent on men, and God commands that women obey men.

Perry also signed a bill into law ensures that Texans forcibly insert probes into women who want an abortion. Under our Sharia Law for Christ, we would probe women forcibly to create awareness that they are pregnant. Otherwise, women might not know.

Women have too much power and that is why God has been punishing single women for so long. Under Sharia Law for Christ, we will cut programs for families such as Head Start that are abused by families to help poor kids get smarter. We don’t need more smart kids; they won’t vote Republican.

Under Sharia Law for Christ, we must also cut the WIC program for “Woman, Infants and Children.” We must stop this program that helps families eat and makes it easier for women in abusive relationships to live on their own. When we institute our Sharia Law for Christ, independent women will no longer be tolerated. We need to also cut the TANF program (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) that goes to these welfare sluts who refuse to submit to men. The 8% cuts in this program, so far, are too small to really put a dent in this problem. We must cut 100%!

Most importantly, the Sharia Law for Christ would put an end to all the whiny females that complain when sex goes bad. Rape is not rape, and Republicans are endeavoring spiritually to legally change the definition of rape and make is clear that rape is only when it’s forced, not coerced. Under Sharia Law for Christ, if you’re not brutally beaten during sex, it’s not rape. Even so, if you weren’t meant to be raped, God would have made you a man.

And Georgia has the right idea. They are helping women stop being victims by changing the term used for raped women at trials from “victim” to “accuser”.  I say we go further and call these “accusers”, “whiners.” And the men accused of rape shouldn’t be called “the accused” anymore, they should be called, “the stud” when on trial for rape. Under Sharia Law for Christ, I hope we get rid of all these unholy rape laws.

Another addition to the Sharia Law for Christ is the Blunt Amendment that would have allowed your employer, not yourself or your physician, to decide what kind of health care you could get based on his or her religious convictions. Doctors are NOT the ones who should be advising women on health care, only employers are wise enough to know what women need. Besides, Doctors are scientists, and they lie about the way the world works. Just look at the global warming hoax. Only someone else’s God should be consulted when women make reproductive choices. Did I say choices? Under Sharia Law for Christ, there would be no choices.

Not to be outdone, Arizona Republicans are proposing a law that would allow an employer to fire you if they find you are using birth control as birth control. Moreover, if you are using contraception for a medical condition other than birth control, you must write a letter to your boss explaining why you are using it. While Arizona foreclosures are on the rise again, it’s nice to see the legislature focusing on vaginas. Sharia Law for Christ must continue the tradition of Sharia Law for Muslims and focus on vaginas and what women do with their bodies.

Finally, under Sharia Law for Christ, we would protect the life of the fetus (and not a pregnant woman), especially a human fetus (as apposed to a female fetus), with the Protect Life Act, HR 358, that was passed in the House. The law would allow hospitals to deny abortion care without any exception for emergency situations. Meghan Rhoads, unholy trollop and women’s rights researcher at Human Rights Watch, whines about this, ““The misnamed Protect Life Act is about allowing women to die if they need an emergency abortion.”” She continues, ““It is a vicious attack on women’s rights and on the most basic right to life.””   Abortion is a viscous attack on my morality and God, and she thinks a woman’s life trumps my God! Our country is damned, oh lord!

If only we could have our own virginity tests that they have in some nations have under Muslim Sharia Law. That’s our next project.

 
Please educate yourself further about human rights and read the links provided in the article if you are not yet outraged by the Republican positions on health care, choice and social programs and you think they care about women or men. 

Peace,
Tex Shelters